Had you been listening closely to 'The Chicken Song' on the previous offering from Spitting Image, you may be wondering who 'those two wet gits with their girly, curly hair' are and they're these two.
Previously uploaded to X-Y-Z-Cosmonaut's blog in 2006, this rip hasn't dated at all. It still sounds just as crap and my joke about sex with fish is just as bad. If you are about to do a conger, just make sure that you insert it into the correct end.
This extended mix features instructions on how to have an especially good time dancing and two key changes. They wanted to keep the key changes going, but it turned out that only bats could hear the end of the original mix so they had to abandon it.
Now for some cutting-edge satire from 36 years ago, courtesy of Spitting Image. There's a lot packed on to this record, so I'll pick out a few random bits for mentioning here.
A note for non-UK residents - you may not understand a lot of characters and references, but you'll probably recognise enough to make this worth downloading. Er, well not 'worth downloading' exactly, but if you're bedbound with a broken pelvis then it may take your mind away from the pain somewhat.
There's a fair bit of royal family here, but from 1986. Diana, Philip and Princess Margaret aren't dead, Andrew's not shamed, Charles isn't quite such a sanctimonious arse and Harry is a tiny babe in arms; he has yet to grow into a sanctimonious arse.
There's ZZ Top singing about their beards and being interrupted by John Cole (BBC journalist) for some inexplicable reason. What about 'The Chicken Song'? That's here. We have Margaret Thatcher and Neil Kinnock sparring in the House of Commons and there's an unfortunate song called 'I've never met a nice South African' which reflects attitudes towards the shunned SA of 1986. Funny, but many South Africans are now living here and I've not met a bad one.
The President of the USA also gets mocked for being scatterbrained - imagine that.
Worthy of note are a couple of names cutting their comedy teeth. We have Chris Barrie and Harry Enfield before their success, providing dodgy impressions for cash. The better part of Spitting image is the puppets, so having an audio-only experience falls about as flat as this record. However this is Pigeonshit after all, so it clears the bar nicely.
I wasn't sure what to expect from this judging by the cover; it looked like a comedy album but it's just a load of laid-back country music provided by Bob Blaine. He's not a big name in country music; perhaps because he was born in Liverpool.
It might have been very amusing to have his songs performed in a scouse accent, but alas it was not to be. The gun he's sporting on the back cover must have come in handy though.
Although my tastes lie more towards the rockabilly end of things, I often state to friends that I'm a 'country member', and they reply with 'yes, we remember'.
Travel with me back to around 1960; a young, fresh-faced Herr Wunderlich has grown concerned that the car boot sales and thrift stores of future decades may not have enough records. He's decided to do something about this awful dearth of cheap old schallplatten, producing his opening opus - Hammond Concerto - in mono.
Keen to capitalise on this philanthropic gesture, Telefunken soon decides to add to the pile with a stereo version which found its way into my arms via the Brighton Marina car boot sale over 50 years later.
Unfortunately the picture of Klaus which was used for the original was accidentally sat on and badly creased, so it couldn't be used for the stereo version. Below is a picture of the youthful Klaus from that original record. He's almost unrecognisable but for that hard stare we all know and love.
The content of 'Hammond Concerto' can definitely be classified as light music; it reminds me of short low budget films produced in the USA at about that time, in which first dates at wiener roasts might be portrayed.
After the visual treat above, the cover of my record is a little lacking but the promise of stereo almost makes up for it.
Edward Woodward's acting prowess is well known, but not so many are aware of his singing talent as displayed on this special record which is posted here for your lasting enjoyment.
You'll notice the vibrato technique he employs throughout. A few methods were tried to achieve this; at first he would sit on a washing machine which has entered its spin cycle, but it would get a bit noisy for the studio and he'd have to stop and get off whilst fabric softener was added. Not ideal.
Then a London bus was seen as the solution. However he could only get one or two lines out whilst the bus was picking up passengers and the orchestra was very confused by the conductor.
Finally the production crew settled on a soundproof room, placed on top of a cart which was slowly moved up and down a cobbled street. I think you'll find that all the effort was worth it.
You'll be pleased to hear that the bass, midrange and treble are in perfect proportion on the record, so this rip did not need the bass, midrange or treble adjusting.
..includes a faithful rendition of Frank Sinatra's 'My Way' which I always find ironic.
By the way, many visitors here may not be aware of the classic series Callan in which he starred. Here's a link to start you off. I'm sure you won't be put off by the black and whiteness of the first series, but Callan does go to colour later and there's also a decent colour feature film if you look for it (the 1974 one).
Of all papier-mache headed people from the Greater Manchester area, Frank Sidebottom is perhaps the most well known and with good reason. His talent for cover versions knew no bounds; for instance his tribute to Queen and Kylie is a work of true genius. Much as I would like to own more of his records and CDs, it's increasingly hard to find them (at least for somone as tight-fisted as me). I'm now reduced to picking up scraps, although I've spotted a nice cache of Frank here which I'll be checking out.
These offerings were perloined from one of the many streaming services active these days and as such, it's a bit patchy. As well as a complete copy of 'Frank's Firm Favourites', I have a selection of tracks from his SciFi EP. There's no exact match on Discogs so I have to assume that a few tracks were left out due to licensing issues and.. hang on, is anyone still reading this bit?
Frank's Firm Favourites was recorded in 1985 and so the tracks are inspired by music from around that time in the UK. The medley is the high point, where his transitions can be jarring but we're too busy laughing about the last bit so we don't care.
The Sci-Fi bit is an incomplete collection of tracks as I said, but in a 'this or nothing' situation I've not been a choosing beggar so I took what I could and was grateful for it. If you had listened to your mum, you would be too.
Gesundheit! Here's one of those soundtracks which really got under my skin when this film was on telly back in the 90s. So much so, I recorded both the start and ending themes onto a cassette from my video recording if memory serves.
Then fast forward about ten years, when whilst flicking through some CDs in MVC (remember that?) I found this gem. I don't know if the shop had subsidence problems, but I found it got very shakey at about that time and I found myself hanging on to a cardboard cutout of Shania Twain for support.
There's plenty here for anyone planning a heist; as for shooting one person a minute however, the gunshot noise and attendant screaming is going to interfere with your particular enjoyment of this soundtrack.
Stuck indoors? Bored? Lonely? Great! You're in the perfect frame of mind! Get downloading and remain seated whilst you enjoy some of the best old rubbish that a stylus ever encountered.
