People are forever asking me, 'have you got any Christmas-related rap music?' and I usually say 'no' and try to change the subject. Otherwise I might let slip that I own this record, which aside from the excellent Run DMC's 'Christmas in Hollis' is full of some pretty terrible stuff - but perfect for this blog at this time of year.
Some sample lyrics - Break out the egg nog Don't forget to feed the dog Here's a big turkey Don't eat that hog
As everyone knows, it's party season - and here's the perfect record. There comes a point in every party when you just want everyone to sod off, and the brandishment of this recording should get those freeloading bastards off your property in no time.
As a double whammy, you can recite some of the details on the back cover, maybe placing emphasis on certain words to heighten any perception of your interest in Gavioli organs. Beware however, as party-lingerers are statistically more likely to have a genuine interest in such matters.
While this record contains some great loungey covers courtesy of Cyril Stapleton, I'm afraid it's about as Brazilian as bread and dripping - I was looking forward to some cha-chas or fandangos from the very accomplished-looking musicians on the cover (that big one serves to show you should learn to play the trumpet without looking at the buttons), but it's a Latin flatline.
From a lounge-covers point of view however, phooar - I wasn't disappointed..!
With it being late December, I thought it might be an idea to venture from my shoebox under the stairs with some aural baubels to distract from the apalling drudgery the festive season brings.
So I'm starting off lazily by adding a re-up from times yonder, no less than The Krankies. I'm sure every kid remembers that moment when they found out Jimmy Krankie was actually a woman and she was married to her own 'dad' - this betrayal destroyed my enjoyment of children's variety acts thereafter. I grew convinced that Bernie Clifton ate human flesh, and that The Great Soprendo wanted to kill me.