Britain Can Take It!

Here's a timely upload, this cover is what I presume is a publicity shot taken ready for the then upcoming 'Operation Pied Piper' to go into effect, where children (mostly) were ferried out of the cities to safer spots in the country. The back cover says the picture was taken on August 29th, 1939, making it 70 years and 2 days old! But wait, according to Wikipedia-

'The official evacuation was declared on August 31st, but began on September 1st..'

That's 70 years ago right now, so happy 70th, 'Operation Pied Piper'!!

Yes, thousands of children were assembled at train stations all over, ready for their evacuations - but I won't go too much into how they went to the toilet in those days.

Strange about the name though, as in the story 'The Pied Piper', the children were led away to be drowned (in the version I know), or held for ransom - and it took place in Germany..

Anyway, there's some real wartime treats here - Noel Coward does a couple of ditties, there's 3 from George Formby including 'Mr Wu's an air raid warden now', (I'm glad they had the ARP wardens to look after the synthesisers) and Arthur Askey with 'The Thing-ummy-bob', a celebration of the advantages to security which compartmentalisation brings.

Bringing up the rear, a stirring song aimed at the Axis forces and their misgided ideologies of racial supremacy, called 'The Jap and the Wop and the Hun'.

So roll up for a rip-roaring, coupon saving, banana wanting, egg powdering ride down the bomb damaged music hall (still open for business).

I Thang Yow!

Britain Can Take It! 52Mb

Ripped and Encoded by Slothy@128kbps mono (same quality as 256kbps stereo)

Electronic Organs Today vols 1 & 2

You give them a fiver to wash your car and they leave streaks of dirt still on it, they hang around outside newsagents asking if you can buy fags* for them - and I caught one doing its 'tag' on my front wall the other night. Tsk! Electronic organs today!

* For any US readers, fags are what an Englishman sticks in his mouth, and then sets fire to.

Electronic Organs Today vol 1 85Mb

Electronic Organs Today vol 2 75Mb

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Warren Mitchell - Alf Garnett Sings Songs Of World War I

Blimey, is that the time? Yes, the 70th anniversary of the Second World War is looming like a big barrage balloon - so I'm going to get all my war-related produce up here.

By way of a little prelude (much as the Great War itself turned out to be), here's a re-up of Warren Mitchell acting the goat and skylarking (dry up!), singing the sort of songs our brave chaps would have sung before they were ordered to march towards machine guns..

A note to any German readers - this is certainly not intended as schadenfreude, we were all made fools of!

My original blurb-

I bought this record for the cover alone, and I expected the contents to be truly awful. Although I wouldn't necessarily want my neighbours to hear me playing it too much, it's actually enjoyable!

All done in a music hall vaudeville style, it's bound to entertain - from the jaunty, plinky plonky sound of 'Take me back to dear old Blighty' to the unmistakable tune of 'For me and my gal' which is bound to set you pacing the room like Grandpa Potts from 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' after too many pink gins..

Brace yourselves for some 'Greek urn' style gags here too.

edit - I'd be very interested in hearing the songs/music the Germans had, the sort of period music Das Boot had was very good.. can anyone recommend any good compilations?

Alf Garnett Sings Songs of World War I 35Mb

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The Rolf Harris Show

Before he made a career out of dying animals, Rolf had his own Saturday night show - although this was before my time so I never saw it myself. Shame, because if this record is anything to go by, it would knock today's Saturday evening light entertainment shows into a corked hat.

On the first track 'Poor Jenny', Harris recalls taking his girlfriend out and how he left her to be arrested after she was punched at a party and knocked out. You'd never think it would you? 'Roochama' has Rolf singing in Hindi (or whatever - how would I know?) in a vintage Bollywood-sounding piece, complete with wobbleboard..

His trusty old standard 'Jake the Peg' is on here but alas no 'Tie me kangaroo down, sport' - the famous death-bed marsupial bondage request song was recorded five years earlier (1963) and you can't have it on every record he did I suppose.

Little know fact - At points during the making of the 'Animal Hospital' series of programmes, all the animals kept getting better and Rolf was faced with no option than to injure a few himself. One insider commented - 'He would phone the vets surgery he was due to be working at that day and put on the voice of an old lady, reporting a cat or dog with a broken leg - we always knew it was him because he'd say 'cobber' and move the word 'but' to the end of a sentence. He would then turn up for filming with scratches on his face and arms'.

This was to be a 'Crate to Blog Challenge', but this is such a goodie I had to take a bit of time over it because Pigeonshit does not compromise on quality. Rest assured however, this was sitting in a rainy carpark not 5 hours ago.

The Rolf Harris Show 35Mb

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The TV Hits albums 1 & 2

Lumberjack? No! Steeplejack.. No! Aw, Uncle Jack.. No!

It's 80s crap! Yaaay!

There are a few moments here which make good listening, but there's also a slice of 80s doggerel at its worst.

There's the theme from 'Connie' - which is as forgettable as the show itself, provided you heard of it in order to forget it. Sorry for reminding you about it now.

There's some kind of track from Miami Vice on there but not the theme itself, what's going on there - it clearly says 'Miami Vice' on the cover, bloody swizz. And on the second volume we're treated to the abominable 'Surprise Surprise!' theme tune which I play now and again, just to remind myself how nice it is to not listen to it. Did you know Sue Pollard released a single? Yep, that's here too.

On the up-side, there's Chas & Dave on both records with their TV offerings 'Crackerjack' and 'In Sickness and in Health'..'Blott on the Landscape'.. And an early version of the 'The Bill' theme tune with a funky bit a couple of minutes in!

How can you resist?

TV Hits 90Mb 256kbps
TV Hits 2 68Mb 192kbps (re-up)

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Harry Stoneham - Solid Gold Hammond

Here's a little present for those who read what I've written here, rather than just looking at the pictures.. Because the restful image above does not reflect the content on these two magical disks very accurately! Look at the tracks below and see for yourself - The Tra-La-La song? The theme from Department S? Surely there's some mistake..

But the other stuff's good too, and a good choice for lounge/library/testcard fans because Hammond Harry is accompanied by some cracking session musicians, and these records play like new.



Harry Stoneham - Solid Gold Hammond 153Mb

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Stanley Unwin - Rotatey Diskers

Goodness of the evietito! If it's speech impediments you're after, then listen no further- Stanley Unwin brings us his aural dyslexia for this classic 'uplode'.



Credit goes to the original ripper for this but Gawd knows who they are. If you don't know the Unwin, I have linked to a youtube vid to give you a taste.

Also while on there, I spotted a brilliant ex-python Eric Idle 'Rutland Weekend Television' clip which is unrelated to this upload, but still gibberish and too funny not to include - I'll just add the link for this one - click here for more gibberish

Stanley Unwin - Rotatey Diskers 320kbps

Hugo Montenegro - Moog Power

I have upped this before, but the old rip is at 192kbps which is a tad low for this blog's more discerning visitor. Therefore I bring Hugo to you at a sparkling 256kbps, after converting the old files from 192.

Only joking, a fresh rip of our Moogy maestro is provided here for your listening pleasure. Contains the only version of 'My Way' I don't hate.


Hugo Montenegro - Moog Power 62Mb

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Playgroup Song Time

Remember Rolf's Cartoon Club? And Burger King Kids' Club? There was also the Dennis the Menace Fan Club - I was a member y'know.

Now there's a new club in town..



A free disease for every member, free entry into Trafalgar AND St Marks Squares, plus a copy of the former UK number 1, 'Mouldy Old Dough' by Lieutenant Pigeon (which you can probably get on Ebay). Just send in a few bits of bread or some old chips, and you're all set.

Anyway, Playgroup Song Time is very worrying indeed - the nursery rhymes on this record are carried on until they reach their conclusions, which are quite sinister sometimes. And all brought into sharp relief by the classically trained singers who sound as though they mean it. Funnily enough, this was done at the KPM Studios.

Sorry for the scribble on the cover, I assure you that the child responsible was locked in an attic in order to collect a dozen spiders for their dinner. I've been listening to too many nursery rhymes..

Playgroup Song Time 70Mb Ripped and Encoded by Slothy@256kbps

Cannon and Ball - Together

Eyup! Relive those Saturday evenings in front of the telly in an age before remote controls became popular - yes Cannon and Ball could always be relied on to at least get you from 'Bottle Boys' to 'The Late Late Breakfast Club' or whatever, and they did so in fine style.




They had an excellent sense of timing, as they were on telly when I was a kid and I found their jokes funny.

Get this for the 'We'll be OK' theme tune and 'Nellie the Elephant' which has a fair few moog-esque bits and pieces in it..

Stands Back in Amazement

58Mb Ripped and Encoded by Slothy@192kbps

He's coming..

The Radiophonic Workshop

As a Dr Who-related treat for Combom readers (I've certainly had a leg-up with you linking to me so thanks), here's a 2002 CD release of an LP from 1975. Includes a favourite of mine 'The Panel Beaters'.

You may not know that Delia Derbyshire used to be known as Delia Nottinghamshire, but she had to change her name as she could only get offers of work from The Radiophonic Worksop.




Malcolm Clarke works on the Delaware (below).. so named as it was going 'lovely jubbley' and 'you dipstick!' as far back as the mid seventies.



The Radiophonic Workshop 60Mb

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This is Reg Varney - On the 88's at Abbey Road

'Oh dear..' you're thinking, '..this looks like just a load of old crooning, with a sprinkling of cheeky interjections and banter'.

Well you're a little bit wrong, because on side 2 there's a track called 'Best Pair of Legs in the Business' which wouldn't be out of place in one of the 'On the Buses' films. This might be down to Harry Robinson, who did the music for loads of British films in the 70s, the most notable of which is (for me) 'Glitterball' by the Children's Film Foundation - if anyone has the film please let me watch it again, I'm dying here! Update, request may be filled.. watch out.




Anyway I'll shut up and get on with it- this Abbey Road studio is famous for you know who, and I feel dirty.

This is Reg Varney 67Mb

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Crate to Blog: Hammond Dancing Ohne Pause

Well I've been carbooting today, and have I hit a motherlode of cheese! Anyway this is my first 'Crate to Blog' time trial and it's not good. The buses were all driven by Jeremy Beadle today (yes I know he's dead, and he couldn't have driven all the buses at once anyway could he? Give me a break).

Every time I went near a bus stop he would be there just a touch sooner. And if he wasn't, there would be a notice on the bus stop saying 'not in use'. My bloody hip's giving me gyp now I tell you.




It's strange though, how I can unnecessarily spend time telling you about how the buses increased this first CTB time trial result. I suppose moaning about buses is more important.

Time: 4 hours 30 minutes = Crap!

I picked this one out pretty much randomly and it's great! In fact I'm fairly sure one of these tracks was used in an episode of Father Ted..

Hammond Dancing Ohne Pause 67Mb

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Cy Payne- Childrens TV Themes

More soundalikes for you, and here's a re-up of Cy Payne and his Orchestra supplying them - starting with.. Dr Who! We come to 'Rupert the Bear' who looks a bit evil on the cover, but the theme is still too nice to stir me. A fair few Gerry Anderson TV shows get their themes lounged up a little, Star Trek is here, but the star of the show for me is the big band version of 'The Magic Roundabout'- I wish Cy Payne had played more with the other themes this way, as this one really is a smasher!




Cy Payne- Childrens TV Themes 53Mb

1972 Contour Records 2870 185 Ripped and Encoded by Slothy@256kbps

Hits on Parade - In New Swinging Military Style

We know the drill, 'Walk in the Black Forest' again but with a military touch, and more twiddly/whistly bits. Adopt the right plan of attack, and you could get the cover girl to show you her twiddly/whistly bits.




She'd be in her 60s now of course.

Hits on Parade - In New Swinging Military Style

56Mb Ripped and Encoded by Slothy@256kbps

Johnnie Sparrow - Dancin' Time 2

Back with the Teadance stuff now (I'm coining the phrase 'Teacore' although I have also considered 'Heavy Kettle', 'Rock Cake & Roll' and 'Bingo Flava').



I would have started with 'Dancin' Time 1' but I swapped it for some jam.



You can tell from the cover that a download is warranted- look at his little face! He's done it again and brought us more organ gold- the pride he surely feels seems to burst from the page. Shame about volume 1, but it was great jam.

Dancin' Time 2 81Mb

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Top BBC TV Themes Volumes 1-3

Back when TV themes were good, the BBC had a few belters and decided to put a few of them on these LPs, along with a few crap ones to make up the numbers. I'm sure you'll agree that the BBC licence fee is justified by these offerings alone; and good thing too, as not much else is.

The covers should speak for themselves, this is a re-up from a 2006 rip.






Volume 1 81Mb
Volume 2 83Mb
Volume 3 73Mb

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Michael Nesmith - From a Radio Engine to the Photon Wing

Yes it's him from the Monkees - I'm sure he wouldn't want to be associated with the Monkees all his life, but tough, you joined a boyband and you're stuck with it mate.

Anyway, this is a bit more laid back and the first track 'Rio' is pretty good (not the same as 'Rio' by Duran Duran by the way [not the same Duran Duran as in Barbarella by the way]). Seems this was done in Nashville and it is a bit country, with a bit of a bluesy streak as well.





From a Radio Engine to the Photon Wing 78Mb Ripped and Encoded by Slothy@256kbps

Postman Pat - Songs and Music from the Televison Series

I've worked for Royal Mail in sorting offices before, and its possibly the closest you can get to prison without being arrested. All you can smell is farts and cheap aftershave, and everyone wears a badly fitting blue shirt. Unless of course you get a cushy number like Postman Pat, bastard.

There are no farts in Greendale of course, and Reverend Timms wears Chanel Egoiste. I can imagine a teadance taking place there, it's that sort of place. Put up a brightly coloured burgular alarm on your property and they'll be complaining to the council.

Probably.




Lettuce through Your Door 71Mb

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JImmy Locke plays Music Music Music

Ooh lovely! This is the first upload in a super series of albums for community centres and church halls all over. Be sure to buy your cakes late in the day because the baker sells 'em cheap, see? And none of that roggin roll or whatever it is - I had bloody beatniks move in next door once, etc.




You can tell that this is a particualrly arresting cover, but it appears that this album contains 'Expilicit Lyrics'. Fear not, I put that sticker there as a joke a while back and forgot about it. I assure you, any violent or malevolent intent herein is of a much more subtle and damaging nature. Statistically, most listeners to this sort of music are dead within ten years.

Despite the erronious sticker, parents should be very concerned if their children are listening to this stuff, mine certainly are.

2019 update - checking Discogs, I see someone has used my picture when adding details for the LP version, including the 'Explicit Lyrics' sticker!

Music!

132Mb
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And you may wish to sample Jimmy's collaborative work with Jamaican born dub poet Linton Kwesi Johnson. Not many people know about this partnership, I imagine they don't either.

LKJ/Jimmy Locke - England is a Bitch - Wurlitzer style!

Blackbottom Stompers - Was Here

Here's one which is signed! Although they probably signed all the records they sold, I don't think 1977 was a particularly good year for this stuff, unless you count Disco Tex who would go a bit 20s now and again.

Blackbotton Stompers 78Mb Ripped by Slothy@256kbps

Frank Sidebottom Salutes the Magic of Freddie Mercury and Queen and also Kylie Minogue (you know,... her off 'Neighbours')

A record I bought on the strength of the cover, but I always
knew Frank Sidebottom was good. And yes, the music is just as
funny. References to Frank's mum/Timperley abound, and Frank
treats us to his arranging skills with a special Queen medley
before he has to do some shopping for his mum.

FSSTMOFMAQAAKMYKHON 31Mb Ripped by Slothy@192kbps

Thank yow!

The Many Moogs of Killer Watts

Here's another re-up from a while back, a taste of a time when nobody much knew what to do with synthesisers except to do a version or two of 'A Walk in the Black Forest'..

And I'm glad they didn't!






The Many Moogs of Killer Watts

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